


Loyalty, Honor, A Willing Heart

by SaucyWench



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2724728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaucyWench/pseuds/SaucyWench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili's had a rough day.<br/>Some short little thing to get it out of my system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loyalty, Honor, A Willing Heart

Fili didn’t know how much more he could take. For as long as he could remember, he was supposed to be the responsible one and take care of his mother and brother. He was supposed to be the heir and help Thorin with his duties. He was supposed to be the example for others his age, someone for the young dwarflings to be able to idolize.

Instead, he was just him. Scared, tired, a failure. He could barely take care of himself. He was no one’s idol.

Today had been rough. He had been trying to learn a new defensive move with his swords, and couldn’t get the hang of it. It wasn’t too bad until Thorin stopped to watch. With every disparaging comment, Fili seemed to grow clumsier.

_I’ve seen infants that could block that strike! Try it again! Not like that, do it properly._

On the next attempt, he had actually had one of his swords knocked out of his hand.

_That isn’t fighting! You might as well lay down your weapons and bare your throat to your enemy!_

Each word cutting deeper than knives, seared into his memory.

_Again! Do it right this time!_

Again he tried, and again he failed.

Dwalin muttered something to Thorin. Thorin was having none of it, though.

_He’s worse than useless. I’m supposed to take that into battle with me? I need men I can trust, men I know that will be able to guard me and fight beside me. Look at him._

Bruised and bloodied, keenly aware of how everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch, Fili stood with his head held high. He refused to allow Thorin the satisfaction of knowing how much his words hurt.

_The best thing you’ll be able to do on the quest is throw yourself on an orc’s sword so someone more worthy can live to fight another day. You shame your bloodline. Get out of my sight._

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. It probably won’t be the last. Fili left the training grounds, struggling not to limp, face impassive and meeting the eyes of everyone watching until they looked away.

Once he made it back to his room, however, he slumped over. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he took a deep breath, wincing when it hurt. He wanted to take his training clothes off, but it seemed too much of an effort right now. Maybe Thorin was right. Maybe he was useless.

The door flew open, and Kili bounded into the room, wearing one of his ever-present smiles. Fili sat up straight and schooled his face.

“Fee! You’re home early!” Kili paused halfway across the room, stopping to look closer at Fili. “Is everything okay?”

Forcing a smile, Fili said, “Yeah. I think supper will be ready soon. Maybe you should wash up.”

Stepping closer, Kili frowned and asked, “Are you sure? You look tired.”

Fili knew Kili loved Thorin, thought Thorin could do no wrong, and had no idea how badly Fili was treated. And he wouldn’t take that love away from his carefree, innocent younger brother for anything. He smiled wider and said, “Training was rough today. But I’m fine.”

After another moment of searching Fili’s face, Kili accepted the lie. “Alright then. I’ll go wash up.”

When Kili had left, Fili slumped over again. He’d go on this quest to reclaim Erebor, and he would prove to Thorin that he was a worthy heir, that he was not useless. And if he had to throw himself on the sword of an enemy to do it, if dying is what it took, then so be it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, kudos, and comments! 
> 
> As always, I am over at Tumblr. Feel free to come say hi! 
> 
> [[My personal blog]](http://myseri.tumblr.com/)   
>  [[My writing blog]](http://saucywenchwritingblog.tumblr.com/)   
> 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Can Ask No More Than That](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2765471) by [SaucyWench](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaucyWench/pseuds/SaucyWench)




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